Game:

Bayonetta (2009)

Duration: 29:16

1,516 views

14

We're here at last....more than you know! This is actually the THIRD recording attempt. For whatever reason, previous recordings got wonky, so you'll get this one...and I wish that either of the other two recordings could have gotten through, but you'll see why later on...

Time for perhaps the longest, most absurd cutscene in the game - Father Balder's grand entrance and monologue. I've now sat through this thing upwards of four times and it STILL makes no sense. Bayo herself is the Left Eye of the World?! Than that stone Jeanne had really was worthless? Uh, OK... So where's Cereza fit in? She's....Bayo's past self?! Time travel is involved in the plot here?! I mean, its not that I can't buy it...its just used in such a weird way. At least Luka and Bayo call out Balder for talking a lot, but saying so little.

We see Balder is a man of great power, enough to overwhelm Bayo, kill Luka and...apply lipstick to Cereza with just a finger? How fearsome! Merging with young Cereza, Balder takes on his final form....let's dance!

Honestly, as grand as Balder is, he's a fairly simple boss. He has some projectiles here and there, but overall he uses an energy blade to swipe at you. Unlike most other bosses, though, not only does he stay out of reach a lot of the time, but simply dodging one attack isn't enough to trigger Witch Time. Instead, you have to dodge all of his attacks in a combo string and THEN you can go to town on him.

Scarborogh Fair aren't just a somewhat poignant weapon to end this with, they're very good for this fight! Their shots can hit Balder just about all the time, and while I'm sure SOME weapons are better for this, it worked out pretty well for me.

Balder proves to be Bayo's equal in many ways. For one, he has cinematic attacks! Kill Sats! Chucking buildings at us! Then chucking the whole damn satellite at us! Furthermore, Bayo's own cinematic attacks don't work at all! Poor little demons...

No, instead we must finish this with...lipstick? Who would have thought the lipstick Luka used to lure out Bayonetta (how did he get that again?!) would be the final blow?! Well...kinda....

...I'm super, super embarrassed to have missed that. You gotta steer the lipstick towards Balder's head, dodging the shards of glass that just kinda spontaneously appear. Those are randomized too. In all my replays of this boss, and in my previous recording attempts and even my practice runs I did this flawlessly. I did it fine the very first time I played this too...I wasn't even sure what would happen when you miss...oh, instant death? Whatever....I think my stunned silence in the loading screen says it all...

OK, so we beat him for real this time! Time to put Cereza to bed and...oh no, we...changed the timeline? Somehow? So apparently by having Bayo inspire Cereza to keep her little mirror close to her heart, this thwarted Jeanne's attempt to stab Bayo and seal her away...and apparently awakens Bayo's latent power of the overseer....huuuuuuuuh?! Seriously, does ANYONE understand what just happened? I'm all for camp and being ridiculous but at least apply SOME logic to things!

So things are at their most darkest, Jubileus is upon us, and the game is done. BAD END. I knew I shouldn't have gotten those witches killed all the way back then in that first battle with Fortitudo!

....nah, we got some more to do. A LOT more, actually. Join me next time where we wrap this up...and ignore the inconsistent Halos now, OK? Heh...heh...

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