(Wall of text) Me when trying out a new multiplayer game which isn't TF2 or Quake Champions

Channel:

Crepar

Subscribers:

56

Published on September 7, 2022 12:00:00 AM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbYCzzAfa5I

Game:

Quake Champions (2017)

Duration: 0:15

51 views

1

==== TL;DR part ====
In a nutshell, my first landing happens to be the very last one.
Always happened, will never go away. I'll always be afraid.

==== Normal part ====
This is how I'm gonna communicate here now with more personal affairs, because you should already know by this point, Watchers and Commenters, that I absolutely despise even thinking about opening the community tab because of the very, very huge possibility of seeing my dislike and sub count (or lack of them, more likely) and berserking on them.

So, while there can be a demand for me to do solely XCOM to provide you with healthy dose of highest-grade storyline cringe or Serious Sam/Quake because it's decent (I think), there's a thing.
All of these games are singleplayer. And I'm not a person who can play only single-player games for eternity.

It sounds whiny, yep, but that's not the point. I'm talking about the thing that I sometimes visit newer games, either on behalf of my relatives showing me to them. Or my friends recording footage and sending it to me in private chats. The games happen to have a multiplayer component in them.

I'll give an example based on Tekken 7.
I play the singleplayer component to the death, abusing AI not responding to grabs, sometimes thinking about actually launching the online battle.

I'm a bad player, that's for sure, but I just want to play the game. Having chosen the characters based on my preferences (Feng because he's cool, Shaheen because he's boring like me), knowing some moves from them.

Then I get a notification from social networks about the games. Even the worst players who record the footage there look like they've mastered every single movement piece, "korean backstep" and know their characters from the go right until the end.

After that, I decide to check some guides for beginners in Steam community - and these guides happen to be rows of videos. It is weird, but I actually hate watching videos in the guides, preferring to instead read walls of text. But alright, I think, maybe I might defeat my relatives at the very least.

And then I get crushed over and over again. Moves that hit mids when they should hit highs, characters which have a galore of low-based attacks to launch me into stratosphere, with me not being able to resist almost every single attack. Even with me crawling in turtling-back position, I get smacked by low-and-combo attacks. Understanding that this is actually my mistake and not the game's fault, I then apply what I experience on what is going to happen in multiplayer.
The relative refuses to explain what the hell happened with block-piercing attacks and just says "you suck".

Rinse and repeat that in Supreme Commander: Forged Alliance, when I get into mass/energy stall and die in first 10 minutes to T1 bomber.

Trying to actually start playing Battlefield, because I enjoy dynamic battlegrounds conceptually. Buying BF4 and deciding to try the game. Playing without friends, and they refuse to install it. I get anxious. I decide to read guides to learn something before I jump into the action.

When the guide doesn't happen to be either a joke-like piece of crap about a cooking recipe or "Hau 2 Walc", another guide full of videos or "don't be afraid to play against tryhards, because we want our stats" guide, the comments say that the game is fun while also saying "I have 4-9 years of experience playing the game on PS4, it was fun". When reading Reddit, I see the videos from, again, newer players, pulling stunts which I'm no way in hell going to perform even by off-chance.

And in all cases the commenters actually do perform like they're supergeniuses. Compared to boasting, I do kinda get the feeling that they're much smarter than me.
This is also what happens when I record my bread-and-butter here, that I pull the stuff which should get my playthroughs nuked, and yet there's that 15% chance of instakill which gets me back into the play.

After everything mentioned my drive for experiencing new stuff vanishes, I say "screw this, I like playing with bots/what I know more", I refund the multiplayer game and go back to countless hours playing against the samey bots in Tekken, or just playing random stuff while trying to come up with the continuation for XCOM 2 TSE/TFTD Extended Cut (there's a lot of thoughts about these two in my head, despite being downright unbelievable considering the lack of updates).

All in all, a sad gaming existence really - I sincerely want to make the process more varied to myself in games which I like, yet I feel that I'm the worst player in respective games - too slow, too stupid and definitely not good enough to escape the "0-100" KD ratio.

And don't forget about me "soiling my pants in mortifying fear" when I comment on someone's material because I think that I'm gonna get smacked for my stupidity and weirdness by everyone nearby. That's not gonna help, really.

PS: despite the footage being XCOM Apocalypse, I'm not doing the game yet.

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